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Ted Bird Archive

The NHL didn't just dodge a bullet last night. It dodged an intercontinental ballistic missile with a thermonuclear warhead capable of blasting the league the rest of the way back to the Stone Age to which it apparently aspires

Ted Bird – Crisis Averted

The NHL didn’t just dodge a bullet last night. It dodged an intercontinental ballistic missile with a thermonuclear warhead capable of blasting the league the rest of the way back to the Stone Age to which it apparently aspires

The NHL owed the Ottawa Senators one after suspending Eric Gryba as a public relations gesture, and the Sens collected in a big way last night. The difference was that upholding a suspect goal by Mika Zibanejad wasn't a sop to political expediency and had infinitely greater consequences than an enforced two game absence for Ottawa's sixth defenceman.

No excuses…well, maybe one

The NHL owed the Ottawa Senators one after suspending Eric Gryba as a public relations gesture, and the Sens collected in a big way last night. The difference was that upholding a suspect goal by Mika Zibanejad wasn’t a sop to political expediency and had infinitely greater consequences than an enforced two game absence for Ottawa’s sixth defenceman.

If the "blame P.K." Twitter hashtag isn't a distant memory, it should be based on the way Canadiens fans closed ranks around P.K. Subban following Tuesday's loss to Buffalo at the Bell Center.

#BlameTherrien?

If the “blame P.K.” Twitter hashtag isn’t a distant memory, it should be based on the way Canadiens fans closed ranks around P.K. Subban following Tuesday’s loss to Buffalo at the Bell Center.

The Habs were a hunting accident waiting to happen last night at the Bell Center, where they posed a danger to everyone except their actual prey. Fortunately, there were no friendly fire casualties, but the fact is with their almost comical lack of shooting accuracy, the Canadiens would have had a difficult time beating Gigi Buffon in a soccer net, never mind Jhonas Enroth in regulation NHL dimensions.

The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straigth and P.K.’s folly

The Habs were a hunting accident waiting to happen last night at the Bell Center, where they posed a danger to everyone except their actual prey. Fortunately, there were no friendly fire casualties, but the fact is with their almost comical lack of shooting accuracy, the Canadiens would have had a difficult time beating Gigi Buffon in a soccer net, never mind Jhonas Enroth in regulation NHL dimensions.

I'm neither a goalie nor a goaltending coach, which makes me as qualified as just about everyone else who's weighed in on Carey Price's woes, so here's what I've got:

Price still not elite

I’m neither a goalie nor a goaltending coach, which makes me as qualified as just about everyone else who’s weighed in on Carey Price’s woes, so here’s what I’ve got:

TSN television took gushing to a new level of overkill last night in its coverage of Steven Stamkos’ pursuit of a 60 goal season.  Not only was Stamkos the lead […]

Stamkos Schmamkos

TSN television took gushing to a new level of overkill last night in its coverage of Steven Stamkos’ pursuit of a 60 goal season.  Not only was Stamkos the lead […]

If Mike Milbury reminds you a lot of Don Cherry, it’s probably because he’s auditioning for Cherry’s job.   Cherry’s not going to be around forever, and if Milbury can use […]

Milbury a pale imitation of Cherry

If Mike Milbury reminds you a lot of Don Cherry, it’s probably because he’s auditioning for Cherry’s job.   Cherry’s not going to be around forever, and if Milbury can use […]

Don’t count me as part of the crowd crowing over the Toronto Maple Leafs missing the NHL playoffs for the seventh year in a row. For one thing, it’s unseemly […]

Don’ be hatin’, mon

Don’t count me as part of the crowd crowing over the Toronto Maple Leafs missing the NHL playoffs for the seventh year in a row. For one thing, it’s unseemly […]

Well, we’re just about at that time of the year when misguided patriots from Tofino to St. John’s and all points between will urge their fellow countrymen to support whichever […]

Playoff loyalties about hockey, not jingoism

Well, we’re just about at that time of the year when misguided patriots from Tofino to St. John’s and all points between will urge their fellow countrymen to support whichever […]

  It’s been said of the Canadiens that no matter how deeply they’ve fallen into disarray as a hockey team, the one thing the franchise still has a knack for […]

Canadiens no longer good at the one thing they were still good at

  It’s been said of the Canadiens that no matter how deeply they’ve fallen into disarray as a hockey team, the one thing the franchise still has a knack for […]

Along with diminishing skills, erosion of confidence and a seeming indifference to his own shortcomings, there may be karmic considerations to the decline and fall of Scott Gomez. In the […]

There’s only one #11

Along with diminishing skills, erosion of confidence and a seeming indifference to his own shortcomings, there may be karmic considerations to the decline and fall of Scott Gomez. In the […]

Add sense of occasion to the many inspiring qualities demonstrated by Max Pacioretty in the past calendar year. On the first anniversary of a brutal incident that left shocked spectators […]

Max Pacioretty one year later

Add sense of occasion to the many inspiring qualities demonstrated by Max Pacioretty in the past calendar year. On the first anniversary of a brutal incident that left shocked spectators […]

Don Cherry is an unabashed Canadian patriot, a fiercely loyal Ontarian and a shameless supporter of the Toronto Maple Leafs, but politics and partisanship were not at play in Cherry’s […]

Cherry on the money – again

Don Cherry is an unabashed Canadian patriot, a fiercely loyal Ontarian and a shameless supporter of the Toronto Maple Leafs, but politics and partisanship were not at play in Cherry’s […]

One of the common misconceptions peddled by the purveyors of hyperbolized hockey lore is that the present-day state of the Canadiens is an affront to a fan base spoiled by […]

Debunking the myth of the spoiled Canadiens fan

One of the common misconceptions peddled by the purveyors of hyperbolized hockey lore is that the present-day state of the Canadiens is an affront to a fan base spoiled by […]

   Let me preface this by saying I realize it’s utter and complete pie-in-the-sky thinking, but indulge me, if only for the sake of fantasy.     Four days ahead of […]

Dreaming the impossible trade deadline dream

   Let me preface this by saying I realize it’s utter and complete pie-in-the-sky thinking, but indulge me, if only for the sake of fantasy.     Four days ahead of […]

Even when they get it wrong, the Detroit Red Wings do it right. The three team trade that brought defenceman Kyle Quincey back to Detroit yesterday highlighted a rare miscalculation […]

Holland takes a bath, comes out clean

Even when they get it wrong, the Detroit Red Wings do it right. The three team trade that brought defenceman Kyle Quincey back to Detroit yesterday highlighted a rare miscalculation […]

                                                  (photoshopping by Josie Gold)    When Canadiens general manager Pierre Gauthier is finally given his walking papers – as common sense dictates he must be no later than the […]

Markov deal alone grounds for Gauthier’s dismissal

                                                  (photoshopping by Josie Gold)    When Canadiens general manager Pierre Gauthier is finally given his walking papers – as common sense dictates he must be no later than the […]

At the risk of raining on the impending Stanley Cup parade, I’m sufficiently jaded by the first 48 games of the season that the Canadiens’ festive 7-2 romp over the […]

One can of whoop-ass does not a banquet make

At the risk of raining on the impending Stanley Cup parade, I’m sufficiently jaded by the first 48 games of the season that the Canadiens’ festive 7-2 romp over the […]

Whether it’s brass tacks or the product of a hyper-competitive media market where rumours are an acceptable substitute for fact, the trade talk surrounding P.K. Subban makes for intriguing debate. […]

Trade PK? Be careful what you wish for

Whether it’s brass tacks or the product of a hyper-competitive media market where rumours are an acceptable substitute for fact, the trade talk surrounding P.K. Subban makes for intriguing debate. […]

It was a long time coming, but we finally have some credible insight into how Canadiens defenceman P.K. Subban is perceived inside the Montreal dressing room. Since his arrival in […]

Martin sets the record straight on Subban

It was a long time coming, but we finally have some credible insight into how Canadiens defenceman P.K. Subban is perceived inside the Montreal dressing room. Since his arrival in […]

There’s a new whipping boy at the Bell Center, and his name is Mike Cammalleri.   The shower of boos that rained down on Cammalleri in Tuesday’s loss to St. Louis […]

Cammalleri in the crosshairs

There’s a new whipping boy at the Bell Center, and his name is Mike Cammalleri.   The shower of boos that rained down on Cammalleri in Tuesday’s loss to St. Louis […]

What Jaroslav Halak calls a night he’ll never forget is best forgotten for the Canadiens, and the sooner the better. It speaks volumes about the home team’s performance that the […]

Bittersweet night at the Bell Center

What Jaroslav Halak calls a night he’ll never forget is best forgotten for the Canadiens, and the sooner the better. It speaks volumes about the home team’s performance that the […]

This just in – the Richard Riot is over.  It ended 56 years ago.  Similarly, the notion of downtrodden francophones being hard done by their rich anglophone bosses or condescended […]

Sacred Quebecois institution, my unilingual anglo ass

This just in – the Richard Riot is over.  It ended 56 years ago.  Similarly, the notion of downtrodden francophones being hard done by their rich anglophone bosses or condescended […]

As votes of confidence go, Canadiens owner Geoff Molson’s lukewarm endorsement of Randy Cunneyworth yesterday had all the sincerity and credibility of a Silvio Berlusconi vow of celibacy. It was also the […]

Molson no help to Cunneyworth

As votes of confidence go, Canadiens owner Geoff Molson’s lukewarm endorsement of Randy Cunneyworth yesterday had all the sincerity and credibility of a Silvio Berlusconi vow of celibacy. It was also the […]

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